


A Day at the Dentist

by xypeilo



Series: The Unimportant Yet Very Important Moments In Life [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2016-10-17
Packaged: 2018-08-22 22:21:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8303351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xypeilo/pseuds/xypeilo
Summary: A short one-shot of Wade waking up from general anesthesia after getting his wisdom teeth pulled out.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in the middle of studying for my midterm and this dumb idea popped in my head out of nowhere so I had to write it. 
> 
> Also, if you follow Saudade I'M SO SORRY I'M TAKING TOO LONG, IT'S 85% DONE.

As Wade was beginning to gain consciousness, Peter quickly took out his phone to record him while trying to his best to suppress his laughter. With a mouth full of gauze, the merc blearily scanned the room until his eyes found Peter.

“Ohhh ith’s you!” Wade’s voice was an octave higher than usual--slurring his words and speaking very slowly. He pointed at Peter weakly as his eyes widened in fascination.

“Hi baby, you doin’ okay?” Peter choked on his laughter, making his face turn red.

Wade looked around again, absolutely confused and looked back at Peter with half lidded eyes. “Whath a fine young man like _you_ doin’ here?”

“We’re at the dentist, Wade. Do you remember?”

“Why are we ath the dentist?” He sounded like a four year old kid.

Peter snorted. “We got your wisdom teeth out, see? That’s why there’s gauze in your mouth.”

Wade’s hand quickly moved to his mouth and a look of horror took over. “They took all my teef?!”

“Just your wisdom teeth honey--no, stop! Don't pull out the gauze!” Peter lightly swatted his hands away from his face.

“Buh I need them to impreth you.” Wade's face began to scrunch as if he were going to cry. Peter was losing it--his stomach ached from trying to hide his laughter.

“W-Why would you need to impress me?”

“They’re thuppose to give me withdom.” Wade began to sob. He looked absolutely hopeless. “Now thomeone ith gonna take you away from me.”

“Why would anyone take me away from you?”

“Becauth you’re hot--wait, are you thingle?”

“No I’m not single, I’m dating someone named Wade.”

Wade looked around to make sure no one was around and leaned in close to Peter. He whispered, “I bet your Wade ithn't _ath_  cool ath _me_. I'll have you know--I'm a _merthenary_.”

"S-Sorry," Peter doubled over in laughter until he eyes got teary. He accidentally dropped his phone as he gripped his knees, trying to catch his breath. “but he’s a mercenary too, honey.”

Wade’s jaw dropped and a thin string of drool seeped from his bottom lip and onto his bib. He swung his hand, attempting to snap his fingers--which failed ridiculously--and his face scrunched up as he continued to cry relentlessly. “Aww man! But you’re tho beauthiful and thmart and we could have tho many babieth together.”

Peter picked up his phone and proceeded to record him. “Aww thank you. You seem like a nice guy. But I really love Wade.”

Wade was crying so hard that he began to hiccup as he noisily wailed in distress. “I've never felt tho much pain in my entire life. Ith becauth I’m bald, ithn’t it?” He weakly pointed to his head and tried to cover his head. "Thee? I'm not bald anymore!"

Before Peter could say anything, Tony and Steve walked in with lunch in their hands. With the usual calculating and protective father look on his face, Tony studied Wade as he walked up to him. Peter gestured to his parents to be quiet--though the billionaire had a list of jokes and insults building up by the second. Meanwhile, Wade's eyes were narrowed as he tried to figure out who these new faces were. He was surprisingly not crying anymore.

His eyes suddenly widened and he turned to Peter while weakly pointing at Tony. “Ith _that_ Wade?”

“No, that’s Tony. That's my dad.”

Wade looked over at Steve who put the food down on a chair and walked up behind Tony. “Ith _that_ Wade?”

“They’re both my dads. You’re Wade.”

Wade flinched and he suddenly wore a look of disbelief while over exaggerating his gasp. “ _I’m_ Wade?”

Peter snorted. “Yes honey, _you’re_ Wade. I was just joking earlier.”

“Doeth that mean I can give you babieth?” Wade shook with excitement, clenching his fists by his face.

“No, that’s not physically possible. That’s why we have dogs at home--plus you hate kids.”

Like a lightswitch, Wade’s face fell and he started wailing again. “We can’t have _babieth_!?”

 

Tony sighed disgustedly as he cringed. “Anesthesia or no anesthesia, he’s the same moron.”

 

 


End file.
